Ugly Lives Matter

Ugly Lives Matter

by Ron Chelsvig

Most of us figured out by elementary school that “All Lives” do not matter.

We witnessed over and over again that the pretty girls got treated much differently than the chubby or skinny, plain-looking girls.

In my school, there were a couple girls in particular who got picked on every single day of their lives because they were poor, chubby and plain-looking. Every day. I cannot imagine how difficult their lives were as children and how their adult lives were shaped and affected by this treatment.

These girls were told how fat and ugly they were every single day. And later, they ended up dropping out of school or moved to another town.

The cute girls had it made in school. (They still do and always have. And we all know it.) The cute girls were the first ones chosen for birthday parties, school projects and dances. When the cute girls got on the school bus, people cleared space for them to sit next to them. It was a fun, popularity contest every day for the cute girls.

The chubby, plain-looking girls had a vastly different reality than the cute girls.

And EVERYONE knew it.

The rules were exactly the same for everyone, but only in theory.

We all saw certain girls picked on and made fun of in front of everyone. They were called names like “Piggy” or “Fat Cow” and laughed at in public. We all saw this. The teachers saw this. The bus drivers saw this. Everyone saw this.

Gym class was painful. When it was time to choose who was going to be on a team, the cute girls always got chosen first. Always. Even if they had very little talent, the cute girls got picked first. The chubby, ugly girls just stood there as everyone else got picked first. They just stood there knowing that no one wanted them on their team. They stood there because they had no choice but to stand there.

It was so painful to watch the chubby, ugly girl just standing there, hands folded in front of her as if to hide, watching everyone else get picked first, knowing how it would turn out, because it turned out the same way EVERY SINGLE TIME.

We watched her, standing there, feeling humiliated, probably desperately wanting to fit in and be treated with kindness, but knowing it wasn’t going to happen. Again and again.

And when she were picked, it was never, “Oh great! she is on our team!” It was usually, “Oh, crap, we have to have her on our team. You better not screw up.”

In fact, the chubby, ugly girls never got picked by either captain. The team captains were forced to concede that they had no choice but to have the unpopular chubby girl on their team.

And we all saw this. Some of us felt sad about this. But for others, it was just another wonderful opportunity to make fun of the chubby girl and get people to join in to laugh at her, just because of her genetics.

And if the ugly girl got mad and lashed out, she got ridiculed and ostracized even more. Her reality was a “lose-lose” situation on a daily basis.

Chubby, ugly girls were not allowed to sit at certain tables in the lunch room.

When the chubby, ugly girl entered the bus, we all saw them yelled at, pinched, punched and ridiculed as they nearly begged to sit in a seat.

At dances, they either didn’t attend or they sat alone in the stands.

We all saw this. We ALL saw this.

When the cute girl walked on a bus, it was a treat, a popularity contest to see seat after seat open up for them to sit. The cute girl never dreaded getting on the school bus. They knew many seats would be made available for them.

Cute girls had a much different reality than the chubby, ugly girls getting on a bus.

For whatever reason, kids could not be kind or even civil to certain girls.

My point is that the “RULES” were the same for all of us, but in reality, certain people greatly benefited by the rules while others did not, just because some were born pretty and some were not.

So if I say, Ugly Lives Matter, I’m not saying that Pretty Lives Don’t Matter.

Pretty Lives HAVE ALWAYS Mattered. It’s a given. And we all know it, we’ve all seen it over and over again.

People born with pretty features or nice bodies have privileges that ugly, chubby people will never, ever have. Ever, ever, ever.

And that is why saying ALL LIVES MATTER is insulting. It’s crap.

I WISH all lives matter, but they don’t.

All lives might matter in theory, on paper, but not in reality.

And that is why, until ALL LIVES Matter, we need to stand up for those whose lives are difficult because they were born a different skin color, a different religion, a different ethnic or socio-economic group.

In our country, we do not need a White Lives Matter campaign. White people made all the rules, own most everything, run the highest posts in our government, etc.

White people are the cute girls of the USA.

I hope people can look at their own status and help those who are less privileged than they are.

Be the person who helps those who are treated differently because you can, not because you have to.

Think back to gym class. See that girl who so desperately wants to be treated with kindness.

I hope one day, All Lives do matter. I really do.