IFS
What is IFS?
For me, Internal Family Systems (IFS) or “Parts Therapy” is a form of therapy focused to help explore, understand and build a healthy relationship with the Self and its parts. We have “parts”…sad parts, happy parts, anxious parts, frustrated parts and joyful parts. IFS can help to better understand and bring clarity to our relationship with our various parts through loving, curious and gentle communication.
Example of our “parts” and “Self”: It’s Friday night. You’ve had a long week at work. You think, “What should I do tonight?” On your way home, you have a dialogue with yourself. One “part” of you thinks, “I want to go out and have fun tonight. Maybe go out for dinner or see a movie!” Another part of you thinks, “You know, I kinda just want to stay in tonight. Take a shower, order some take-out and relax.”
Very simply, these are two different “parts” voicing what they’d like to do after work.
Neither is good or bad.
They just have a different focus for what to do.
Parts are sort of like people in our head. And in this example, there is conflict. Each “part” has a different idea of what they want. And each has a meaningful purpose.
The “Self” is different from the parts. The “Self” is who we are at the core. Our inner-consciousness. Some call it the Soul.
Many of us are so wrapped up in our Parts that we may have difficulty identifying with our True Self.
The role of the IFS practitioner is to help a person identify the various parts and facilitate a deeper, more healthy connection with their True Self.
We may be overwhelmed with sadness, shame, self-doubt, worry, fear, guilt, compulsions, addictions or patterns of behavior which are no longer useful for us.
As an IFS practitioner, my focus is to help facilitate a healthy dialogue between you and your “parts” so that you have a deeper understanding of their purpose for you.
Every part has a purpose. And every part wants to help us, even if it may seem contradictory that a “shame part” or a “sad part” really wants to help us.
But they do.
I believe at our core, our True Self, we are beyond our thoughts, behaviors or compulsions.
We can connect into a place of heartfelt Understanding, Compassion, Forgiveness, Acceptance, Empathy, Kindness…Love.
It is my experience that the healing which IFS offers can be immediate and life-altering.
My book, “A Cup of Tea with Sadness” is an example of the changed relationship with the difficult feelings of Sadness.
I forever will have changed relationship with Sadness.
Please feel free to contact me regarding IFS or to schedule a session.